a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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