playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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