So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Randomize
