don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
