Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
