Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
