I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
