Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
