guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
