if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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