nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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