this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
