what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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