Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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