He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
