And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yo dont text me then not text me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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