I wish I could teleport
I want to walk on stilts...naked
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You may now shotgun with the bride
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
