I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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