No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You pole danced in your parka.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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