Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
