AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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