Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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