Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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