The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
