What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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