I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
