doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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