would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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