it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Randomize
