Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
