either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
