I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
