Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize