I am in a vortex of obligation.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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