we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
