i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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