why didn't you poke me back
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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