DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize