And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
