and you said cock pushups were impossible
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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