When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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