so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
