belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
