Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
