I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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