He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
