We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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