Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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