It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
