do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
