i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize