Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize