Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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