we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
