He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
