Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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