i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
