Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
