i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
