I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize