i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
